- How do I care for my troll?
- Can my troll learn good manners?
- What should I feed my troll?
Contrary to popular belief, the troll is not an entirely aggressive species. When properly fed and socialized, most trolls are docile, fragile beings as long as they aren't overfed or startled.
Trolls tend to vary in size and stature, but one can usually spot a troll by a few identifying features. First, trolls are generally pale creatures with cramped fingers, which are often seen clenched up into little fists from hours of furious typing. Also note that the troll's teeth are dull, and their claws are typically benign.
The troll's aggressive reputation comes from it's ability to spout an acrid flaming venom, sometimes painful enough to send the troll's prey running away in tears. Though your troll's flaming venom can be potentially painful, it's generally harmless in small doses.
It is also important to note for the health of your troll that most trolls are terribly sensitive to light. It's best to gradually introduce your troll to sunshine. Too much light at once can provoke a troll to attack or run away. A few, more intelligent trolls may be receptive to your light, which is a good sign that a troll may be ready for advanced socialization from you.
In truth, the proper portion of attention isn't bad for a troll, but feeding a troll with your irritation may result in aggression from your troll. Trolls have a naturally dull sense of humor, which is how they digest their meals. Feeding frustration to your troll will upset the troll's soft belly, and it could produce negative results. Don't give in no matter how much a troll begs for your frustration. Instead, always approach your troll with *calm, assertive energy.
Understand that your troll gets its nourishment from the surrounding environment. Small, snack-sized portions of attention should be used only as rewards for your troll's good behavior. Never let your troll see you holding onto any frustration, or your troll may become aggressive.
Some trolls are unable to understand anything very well even after many patient attempts. Don't feel bad; it's not your fault. Some trolls are born with naturally small brains, and medical science has yet to discover a way to correct this genetic flaw. With any luck, this trait will hopefully fade as the species evolves and adapts, allowing easier communication with future generations of trolls.
Begin with soft coos and gentle encouragement. Try telling your troll that you don't want any trouble, that you mean no harm. Don't overwhelm your troll with too many words. Let your troll try to communicate back to you. Indeed, many have discovered through this technique that their troll was not actually a troll. (It should be noted that it's common to mistake a person having a bad day for a troll.) If this is indeed a troll, expect some difficulty, but don't let the troll even smell your annoyance.
Over time, if you remain gentle and firm, you and your troll may come to understand each other. If your troll proves to be docile, you may begin training with your own techniques, following up with positive reinforcement of snack-sized attention, and remembering to avoid feeding your troll any frustration.
With patience, encouragement, and gradual sunshine, you and your troll may be set for a long and satisfying relationship without any fear of your troll attacking your friends or flaming your comments.
Experts seem to agree that the best way to make a troll vanish is to ignore it. Depriving it of all attention and frustration will starve your troll, and it will usually move on in search of a better food source.
If your troll won't leave, report your troll. FAQ #238: How do I report people for abuse, harassment, or another issue I think is a problem? It's best not to provoke your troll by announcing your plans. Just quietly file the report with a link to your troll's aggressive behavior, and the proper authorities will remove your troll from sight. Wash away any residual guilt or frustration with a nice piece of chocolate.
Cyber Bullies: It should be noted that in rare cases a troll may evolve into a cyber bully, which is a species in its own classification with much sharper claws and hideous, jagged teeth. While trolls generally just want to get a rise out of you, cyber bullies can be a serious threat and should always be immediately reported. (See section on troubleshooting.)